(Photo credit: AdvantageDriversEd.Wordpress.com)
Due to being outrageously busy penning deep masterpiece articles like this one about the liver detox controversy and this one about the "douchebaggery" in our burgeoning hangover remedy market, I have been swamped. Time to lighten things up with a diet and liver-friendly cocktail...
No controversy here. If you like drinks that are clean and almost sugar-free, while also being delicious, then read on...
Yes, Thirsty Thursday (when we usually share drink recipes) has given way to Sloppy Saturday. Uh oh, did I just say that? I take enough flak as it is for supposedly promoting drinking. That's why companies like Palko Distributing won't carry our product, even though they know it works like gangbusters. I guess none of their customers drink...?
Jeez...guess I just can't avoid controversy anymore. I'll DRIVE a little deeper into that after I deliver this recipe.
The New Driver
My thought process on this was that I LOVE Screw Drivers, but despite orange juice being good for you, nobody needs to be drinking it by the gallon. The sugars add up. What if you could get the taste and healthy antioxidant polyphenols of the OJ in a nice strong martini-style cocktail, but without busting your liver with massive quantities of fructose and extra calories?
What you need:
- 2 oz Tito's Handmade Vodka
- 1.5 oz Malibu Coconut Rum
- 1 oz Lakewood Organic Lemon Juice
- 1 oz Trop 50 orange juice
- 2 oz Truvia simple syrup
- 1 Frozen pineapple chunk
What to do:
Combine all ingredients in a shaker. Shake thoroughly for 30 to 45 seconds. Strain into a martini (or your favorite) glass. Garnish with a frozen chunk of pineapple. The Truvia simple syrup should be prepared first with hot water and 2 packs of the sweetener per ounce of simple syrup. I like to use the Keurig to do it instantly.
I decided to call it the New Driver because we are reinventing the Screw Driver, but there is another reason: It's dangerous, so watch out for New Drivers!
Let me get this straight...we promote drinking? What total nonsense. This argument is kind of like saying that the filter on a cigarette promotes lung cancer. I don't buy it. And all of these hypocrites who have shunned our product from retail based on this excuse are captured by the politically correct, snowflake, "don't-sue-me" culture of America these days.
People who drink will continue to drink. If they can't control their alcohol intake, such that my all-natural liver detox product encourages them to drink more, then they have a different problem: ALCOHOLISM. There I said it. And no one is promoting alcoholism.
To be clear, our philosophy is that having a tool to protect your liver and avoid the misery of the morning after helps you keep a balance between living life to the fullest and staying healthy. Nothing more, nothing less. The reason our logo goes forward and backwards, other than the fact that it looks bad-ass, is that I believe that it's a process. You "intox" and have fun for a while and then it's necessary to "detox" and get back to normal life. All we hope to do is smooth this transition, so that people can enjoy social moderate drinking and then quickly and seamlessly return to being a positive influence in the world.
Why does the alcohol industry not get all the flak I get? Budweiser or America, whatever they are called now, gets a free pass to imply that drinking Bud Light will make your life more exciting with more friends and hot girls, but I can't say "watch your liver, bud"?
As much as I love it, craft beer is exploding with high octane beers that celebrate the drinking tradition (as it should be) with ingredients ranging from cat poo to maple bacon peanut butter and jelly, but I am promoting drinking by selling Traditional Chinese Medicinal herbs?
Anyone will take a free beer. Anyone. Try giving out free "hangover pills" at a bar. Better yet, try offering pills as a pickup line:)
We are here to help. Hell, I'll have a drink with you. But that's about as far as it goes with "promoting drinking".
Live your life. Don't judge other people or my company.
Just my $2 bucks on a Saturday morning. That's 2 cents adjusted for inflation.
Coupon code "loveyourliver" is still active for a limited time to save for the holidays here...